Limbo

Well it's amazing how much can change in a couple of days, isn't it? This may turn in to a bit of a rant but if I'm honest I am upset and pretty angry and writing seems to help me alleviate these negative feelings.

After my post about how August is going to be a good month, we are now just 6 days in to said month and the second wave seems to be coming. I've been avoiding the news in regards to covid because of my anxiety but I'm not blind to the fact that areas of the UK are starting to lock down again and it's only a matter of time (in my opinion) before it hits Wales.

I'm angry.

I'm angry with the government.

Who voted these people in? Seriously?! Telling people who are coming back to the UK from abroad to self isolate for 2 weeks and trusting them to do it after the year we've had? And let's not forget they chose to stop international flights 3-4 months AFTER initial lockdown started and the UK had already developed the worst death toll in Europe. It's almost like people are expendable to them.

Stopping vital cancer treatments, missing important meetings at the most crucial times, contradicting rules, and nothing actually in place to enforce these rules.

People are doing what the f*ck they want. It won't affect you personally until it does. Covid - just like cancer - does not discriminate. Which brings me to...

I'm angry with the 'younger' generation.

Obviously not tarring us all with the same brush but with pubs and restaurants opening again and videos you see circulating online, it seems obvious as to who gives little shits about the general population.

Then there's the parents that clearly haven't educated their teenagers on the very seriousness of said situation - or they have and they just don't care. I think all of the groups of teenagers I've seen have been in much larger groups and gathered on the side of the road as opposed to a very large open area.

I'm angry at the mask situation.

The masks are to protect OTHERS. I'm not just wearing mine for the benefit of my own health.

I'm not sorry that it makes you sweat.

I'm not sorry your glasses steam up (look up the soap hacks, it works).

I'm not sorry that it's uncomfortable on your face.

I'm not sorry that you have to wear one to decrease the possibility of somebody else catching something that can kill them.

Oh, and you have to have it over your nose for it to work too! "Wet your own pants, not others." (See below)

I could go on but I needed to let this out as I took my first trip to a shop since lockdown just 2 days ago. I've pretty much only been to my cancer centre since March. I felt good for going somewhere else. I was active. Good measures were in place and I was careful. But now I don't feel like I can do it again.

I don't think I can have the birthday celebrations I originally intended because of how much can happen within the next 3 weeks. I definitely don't feel like I can expand my bubble again any time soon.

Gav and I have probably our second date night of the year (ticked Michelin star restaurant off my bucket list in January) on Saturday and I think after that I'll be going back in to my bubble for my own peace of mind.

Don't get me wrong, I'll still continue to get my fresh air, I have to for my own sanity.