Shielding

I had a letter from the Welsh Government a few days ago updating me on the shielding guidelines and that I am to continue to do so until 16th of August (funnily enough, exactly one year from my diagnosis, thanks for that). I haven't really been going out anyway due to being unwell.

As it goes, going out isn't all it's cracked up to be when you've been stuck inside for 3 months. It might sound silly to some, but for me, it was fucking terrifying.

I ventured out today with my parents and the kids, only a 5 minute walk from the house to feed the ducks, but I felt on edge the entire time. The only time I've been leaving the house is to go to my parents or hospital appointments. I was constantly looking around trying to be aware of where everyone else was around me and I just couldn't relax or enjoy myself. It. Was. Awful. It also surprises me how easy some people find it because I feel like my anxiety took a serious hit. When I got back I was a sweaty mess.

Summer is here and it's sad to say I don't know if I could put myself through that again anytime soon.

I will have a health update this week though as I now have some treatment options which is the bit of positive news I needed. It's now starting to give me little milestones to look forward to again being as though I'm aware we've been coming up to the dreaded fourth month.

My baby boy will be 4 in a month! 🙈😭 I'm not ready.