Something to Look Forward to...

This month is quite the month for me. Since I've had my energy boost - yes, even amongst all of this fatigue - I've been trying to give myself smaller milestones to look forward to. So I set one, then when that's done, I set myself a new one.

I try not to do it too far in to the future, or set myself too many 'goals' as I don't want to disappointment myself with my future being so uncertain. So the closer to the present I have my focus, the better.

Guaranteed they've obviously been much harder to set with lockdown but there are still things that I've been able to set up and they may be small to some people, but to me they've become the big things. The memory makers.

After those awful few weeks where I took a step back from it all in April and May, nobody wanted to admit it at the time, but we all thought that was it.

To put it bluntly, August is a month I'd never thought I'd see. I've accepted now that I'm going to be permanently tired. Not only does treatment do it to you, but I've read that it is a side effect of the actual cancer as well. But there are ways for me to manage it, diet and light exercise being two of them.

So with that said, even though I traditionally go day by day, I've told myself August is going to be a good MONTH. We've been unable to go out and make those memorable family trips so some of the fundraising money is being used to finally make our house a home for the children.

It's literally like I've been nesting all over again and it's been really fun to throw myself in to picking bits. We've lived here 6 years and haven't even finished decorating the house once over! Gav and my in laws have even managed to become a bit thrifty with alot of stuff we've already had and I can't believe how well it's all been pulled off.

With lockdown lifted in some areas as well, I've decided to bite the bullet and try and go to an inn I've always wanted to go to about an hour away for an afternoon tea picnic bench. (I've obviously lowered my bucket list expectations, haha!) Date night! Yay! I'm anxious as f*ck though about being somewhere other than a hospital.

Then there's my 'cancerversary'. Yes it's been nearly a year since my official diagnosis. I know it sounds weird and it's not really something to celebrate but I'm proud of the person this experience has turned me in to in regards to my mindset. Although I do hate that this is what it took for me to get there.

"The only time you should ever look back, is to see how far you've come".

Finally, what comes next? Oh yes, the best of all! MY BIRTHDAY! I have things in the pipeline that I'd love to do but I need to see how my anxiety copes with date night first. After all, I still am only taking one day at a time.

So happy August everyone. May yours be as positive as I intend for mine to be.